Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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