she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
