I wish I could punch you in the face.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
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