I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
