Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
