Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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