Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Randomize