My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
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