I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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