she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
