The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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