have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I AM VODKA MAN
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
