Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
