hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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