I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
