I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Randomize