I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
