why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Randomize
