You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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