I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
