OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
