I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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