IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
