she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
