You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
