my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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