wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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