You work out of a Hotel?
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
