i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
