She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Randomize
