i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
