This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Sacagawea was the original milf.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
