I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
