I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
