What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
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