I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
