in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
