She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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