so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
two words...techno handjob
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
