Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
