someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
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I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
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the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
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