she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
