Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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