Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
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