i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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