I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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