i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
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I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
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