My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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