i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
