i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
