i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
