How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
i used baking grease as lip gloss
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
