youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
