No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
