Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Houston, we have a blender
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize
