I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
