I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
This show inspires me to have sex in space
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
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