fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
