No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Randomize
