I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
